Hobbies
by Larxenethefirefly
Summary: The Doctor needs to get a hobby. Only, its not as easy as it looks. Where does a Human/Time Lord Metacrisis find a hobby, anyway? And why does Rose keep rejecting the best ones? Ten2/Rose


This was a request from Timelord1 on my prompt meme over at lj. It is also my first Meta story. It's about time I showed him love; he's been waiting patiently in the wings long enough.

And the editor on this site still sucks. Sorry if the lines are all messed up; for some reason, the editor won't let me edit.

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><p>"You know," Rose said one day as he was disassembling the toaster, "You really need to get a hobby."<p>

He tossed a spring over his shoulder and peered intently at the mess. "What do you mean?" He asked, absently, poking at a strangely shaped metal object that hadn't been there before.

"I mean that you can't spend your entire day destroying our appliances," She replied, and her slipper-clad feet appeared in his view. "Doctor? Are you listening?"

Peering up at her over the rim of his glasses, he noticed her arms were crossed and that she was still wearing his shirt. Well, it had been his shirt. She had a habit of stealing it, and he could barely wear it for more than half an hour before it was thrown on the floor in favor of being replaced by bed sheets and Rose. Maybe that was why he wore it so often. "Of course I am," he said, although he really, honestly didn't.

"Then what did I say?"

Dang. She really was too clever by half. "You asked if I was listening," He said, anyway, and she rolled her eyes.

"I said," she replied, slowly, as if he was an idiot, "that you need to get a hobby."

For a moment, he stared at her in shock. "A _hobby_? Rose, Time Lords don't have _hobbies_. We have carefully tailored activities that are done to stimulate our mind and provide inspiration for more activities that we may or may not have."

"Right. But you're half-human now, and human's have hobbies. I'm tired of tripping over gears and wires and shards of I don't even know what and wondering if the dishwasher is working today or not. You need to find another way to spend your time."

"You never complained before," he whined, but quickly shut up at her glare.

"Seriously, Doctor, it'll do you good. And you'd better buy another toaster before tomorrow. Mum's coming over to visit, and I don't want her screeching over the mess you make."

* * *

><p>A hobby. Rose wanted him to get a hobby. Just how did one go around getting a hobby, anyway?<p>

He decided to ask his students, first. They really didn't study as much as they told their parents, and they had to fill that time _somehow_, drunken escapades notwithstanding. How did university students spend their time, anyway? He liked to think that he was molding them to be tomorrow's citizens and all that other stuff that headmasters liked to speak about every year on the first day of school, but really, so long as he could influence them to do better, he was happy. And most of his students did study, even if most of them were female, and only so they could stay in the class and swoon over him. He had been rather perturbed in his second semester when he discovered there was an unofficial fan club of him, and spent the next few weeks hiding every time one of the members came near. He wondered if it was a hobby, and if it was, how it even qualified for one since they really weren't doing anything productive with it.

So, bright and early Monday morning, he walked in, set his briefcase on his desk, and said, without preamble, "My wife said I needed a hobby. She got tired of me destroying the appliances, and now I need to find another way to spend my time. So take fifteen minutes to write out what you think a good hobby will be, and why." A few people dug through their backpacks, and he added, "It'll be a completion grade."

The amount of activity multiplied tenfold, and satisfied he turned to write the day's plan on the board behind him. He gave them more than enough time, really, but next class he had to teach Advanced Physics rather than World Literature, and he needed to clear his mind a bit because he was still astounded at the number of people who managed to sneak into that class without being ready for it. Even some of his more dim-witted companions back in another life hadn't been that ridiculously idiotic.

He collected the papers and continued with his lesson, not touching them again until later that night when Rose was making dinner. Some of them were generic- buy a boat and learn to sail, collect model airplanes, make boats out of toothpicks, and his favorite, just shag her rotten until she forgot about it- but others were simply ridiculous. Write a book? He'd written numerous thesis papers over Quantum Mechanics and String Theory, and not only did Rose actually begin to understand it, he managed to not have his entire thesis fall through! Learn to fly a zeppelin? Ha! The TARDIS was more complicated than any primitive aircraft this world had to offer, and though he hadn't been the most accurate of pilots, he survived all this time without too much damage from various crash landings and explosions. A zeppelin would be easy-peasy-lemon squeezy.

Others were too boring. Joining a local sport club would mean that he would have to actually find a sport to play, and after being involved in life-or-death situations where he had to run for his life, running after a ball didn't appeal to him. Photography was alright, but he'd rather take pictures of alien worlds, ones that he could never again visit and worried that he was forgetting. Gardening was out of the question, and astronomy was simply insulting. Sighing in annoyance, he gave them all hundreds and threw away the entire batch.

* * *

><p>He asked Rose.<p>

"Is shagging…"

"No."

"You don't want me to do _anything _fun for a hobby."

"That's a privilege, not a hobby. Now, help me with the laundry."

He sighed and began matching the socks.

* * *

><p>He went to Jake next.<p>

Rose's team partner looked at him sympathetically for a moment. "You've been married what, three years now?"

"Three years, five months, and twenty-four days," the Doctor corrected. "And never before has she mentioned a 'hobby'."

Jake laughed, and patted his arm. "Welcome to the real side of marriage, mate. The honeymoon had to last eventually."

The Doctor wondered why it had to (they certainly shagged enough to make it seem like it hadn't), then realized he was off topic. "Do you know what I can do for a hobby? Everything is just so… boring."

"We can't all be super-geniuses," Jake shrugged. "Why don't you give golf a go? It'll earn bonus-points with the father-in-law."

It was worth the consideration, since everything else wasn't any better (or, really, any worse). "Where's the nearest golf course?" he asked, and Jake gave the information willingly.

The next day, after classes were over and the papers organized and ready for grading, he went out and bought golf clubs, shoes, even the hat. Rose, when she saw the efforts of his adventure, said, "Don't go hitting the ball through anyone's car windows, Doctor."

He scoffed. "I've saved countless worlds and civilizations, Rose. I can handle golf."

Raising her eyebrows, she went back to drinking her coffee.

Three days later, as he lugged his bag of clubs to the driving range, the Doctor was still confident that golf would be as simple as reciting the Gartahhhúlan's ten-thousand letter alphabet from memory. Setting the golf bag down within easy reach, he placed the tee in the ground, placed the ball on top of it, gripped the club, swung… and missed.

Frowning down at the ball, he tried again, slower this time, and the club glanced off the ball, causing it to roll off and bounce a few feet before stopping. Dismayed, he stared at it for a bit.

His neighbor chuckled at his expression. "First time?"

The Doctor nodded. Grinning, his neighbor said, "Mind if I give a few pointers?"

And thus, he got his first golfing lesson. His neighbor's name was Tom, and he was an employee at the course and a competitive golfer on occasion. By the end of the hour the Doctor had managed to hit the ball a good distance, and satisfied, Tom let him be.

The Doctor stared at the ball, then at the club, and then at the range. Tom had warned him to take it easy, to start with gentle hits before building in power, but he had been doing fine until now, hadn't he? What's the worst that could happen, he miss the ball? Been there, done that. Rolling his shoulders, he failed to look behind him, and swung, knocking a man across the chin who had stepped too close. The man stumbled, grabbing the nearest object: another golfer on the range, who swung wide with a startled expression and hit the ball to the right. It ricocheted off the awning, hitting the driver of a golf cart, who promptly swerved and ran straight into an expensive, cherry-red convertible, which blared out alarms and caused the owner to come running from the club house shouting and cursing.

There was silence around him for all of five seconds. Then chaos exploded, and the Doctor meekly snuck away.

"Golfing is not going to be my hobby," He announced melodramatically as he entered the flat.

"Could have told you that," Rose replied from somewhere in the kitchen. "Do you prefer chocolate or caramel for an ice cream topper?"

Suspicious, he asked, "Caramel, why?" and peered through the kitchen door. He promptly dropped whatever was in his hands as Rose gave him a wicked little smile as she sat on the edge of the counter, wearing only his shirt, a bowl of his chosen condiment sitting innocently nearby.

* * *

><p>He consulted various websites, read several books, and tried everything from collecting stamps (which ended quickly because he kept misplacing them), taking cooking lessons (getting kicked out the first day after setting the entire kitchen on fire), searching for antique books (though when your wife was a rich and famous heiress and had the connections to get any book he wanted after a few short calls, it rather took the thrill out of the search), and people watching (which wasn't much of a hobby, since he got bored quickly, unless Rose was there to help make up stories about various strangers), but nothing lasted. It just wasn't the same without Rose, and since Rose was always at Torchwood except for when she wasn't, he hardly knew what to do with himself.<p>

He suddenly missed the TARDIS more keenly than ever before, even the few awkward months after his creation when he and Rose were still trying to figure things out between them. Not for the first time, he cursed his Time Lord counterpart for not thinking things through all the way and leaving them stranded for a life he thought best, not what they knew to be best for them.

* * *

><p>He chose to ask Jackie after that, figuring she would be the one who would best know what Rose would approve of as a hobby. As Rose herself had gone shopping, he had decided it would be the best time to ask without Rose being there to possibly influence Jackie's answer.<p>

"What's brought this about, then?" Jackie asked as she grabbed the tea pot. "Trouble in paradise?"

The Doctor frowned at her. "Rose says I need a hobby. I need to know how to find one."

Jackie considered him for a moment. "Not really surprised. She was bound to get tired of buying a new blender every week at some point. Why don't you just ask her?"

"Did," he replied glumly. "She didn't approve of my ideas, and others weren't the same without her."

"Sounds to me like you're too busy trying to please her rather than yourself. Maybe you should do what makes you happy," Jackie remarked, just as Tony came running in, demanding that the Doctor play with him.

Two hours and several terrific crashes and cheers later, Rose walked into Tony's room to find all the furniture shoved against the wall (and on each other) and the floor covered in toys. "What," She demanded, staring in awe and shock, "Is going on?"

Tony replied, very seriously, "The fate of the universe is being decided," just as the Doctor ran by with Superman, providing his own sound effects.

She stared at the room as the Doctor explained. According to the layout of the toys, all the forces of good and evil were snatched up out of Time by a bored God who wanted to amuse himself for a bit. They were deposited on opposite ends of an empty world called Gothic City, and were told that whoever got to the sacred land of Metropolis first would be forever the rulers of the universe. The Forces Of Good and The Forces Of Bad were racing against each other to reach Metropolis, but not without fighting along the way. Indiana Jones and Darth Vader, for instance, were in a brag-off over who had the better fan base, and Superman and Wile E. Coyote were seeing who was more indestructible (both toys were hanging by their feet from the fan, tied on by shoelaces, as the fan spun at top speed). Inspector Gadget and Ursula were trapped in a Time Loop and forever repeating the same epic battle, while Simba attempted to get them free (a hard task, given he had no opposable thumbs and was required to use joysticks while simultaneously operate a keyboard). The Autobots and Decepticons were in a bowling tournament to decide who ate the last cake from the Best Bakery in the Entire World, and Optimus Prime was rooting on one of his teammates as they went to bowl. Princess Leia and Han Solo were sneaking off for a secret tryst in the Forest of Darkness (AKA Tony's pile of dirty laundry), and Gargamel had temporarily forgotten about the smurfs in favor of getting blackmail of the two. A Cyberman, Spiderman, Wonder Woman, Cruella De Vil, and a stuffed spider were playing poker. Finally, Randall and Chewbacca were climbing The Mountain of Impossible Height to reach Metropolis, which was rumored to be at the top. Said place was actually a snow globe containing the Statue of Liberty atop Tony's wardrobe, and the dolls were stuck to the doors by duct tape.

By the time Chewbacca finally beat Randall (only by Randall tripping last second), both the Doctor and Tony were giggling nonstop as the Doctor declared that Good won over Bad once and for all, and with lots of terribly over dramatic sound effects and silly voices, killed the super villains one by one until only Good remained and threw an epic party filled with ice cream, popcorn, and piñatas. It was also a clever way of getting him to clean up, since the super villains 'died' by falling into a black hole (the toy chest) and the heroes celebrated by crowding into Superman's house (the second toy chest) for the party. After that, it was only a matter of bringing the desk, chair, and nightstand back into place.

"Thanks for watching Tony, Doctor," Jackie said as they left. "And remember what I said."

He nodded, solemnly. His time with Tony, while fun, had also given him time to think; and he had finally come to a decision. "I will," he replied, and surprised her by giving her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"That must have been some advice," Rose teased as they drove off. "What did she say?"

He smiled. "Oh, nothing much. Just something I've known all along, really."

* * *

><p>A week later, as he cuddled with Rose on the couch after finishing a movie, he said, "I know what I want to do for a hobby."<p>

She hummed in contentment. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I want to teach."

Confused, she shifted so she could see him better. "But, you're doing that now! How…?"

"I'm not finished," He interrupted. "I want teaching to be my hobby because I've figured out I want a better job."

"And what's that?"

Smiling tenderly, he brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. "If you're still willing, I want to be a dad."

Rose froze, staring at him, eyes wide. For a moment, he worried that, since the year they had first had this conversation, she had changed her mind; then she beamed, and hugged him fiercely. "Of course. Yes, of course, I still want a baby. You have no idea how much I want one."

He smirked at her. "Really? Prove it."

So she did.

Eleven months later, as he held his new born baby girl, he wondered how it had taken him this long to make one of the best decisions of his life. And as Donna Rose Noble stared out at the new world around her, he knew that every hobby he would ever one day have would pale in comparison to the joy of being this beautiful little girl's father.


End file.
